omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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