You made me cry and you don't even care
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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