She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
