According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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