White coat. Heels.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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