..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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