i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
