So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Panties = found
Randomize
