All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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