We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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