Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
