I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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