Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
