it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize