Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
