What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
