If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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