i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
