Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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