Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize