Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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