just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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