dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
