I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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