so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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