So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
