just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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