It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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