and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
