my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When did angry sex become our thing?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
