Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
