Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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