He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
