D3 body, D1 cock
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
