You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Barsexuality is the new black.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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