were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
