..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize