Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
