Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
