Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
