Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
