Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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