allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
