I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
