he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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