By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
