sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
