So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
