so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
