So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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