Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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