Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
