It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
