thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize