this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
