i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
